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Opening words at the exhibition of Laurent Ziegler »Memories of My Childhood – Painting, Drawings, Photography« at Gallery Jünger in Vienna on September 16th, 2020. 'The Memory of My Childhood' delves into the challenging yet crucial topic of sexual abuse and ritual violence, exploring the pathways to healing through creativity, therapy, and expanded states of consciousness. I publish my opening words today to support Laurent Ziegler in his attempt to reissue the book in German and publish it for the first time in English. Laurent writes: »The Memory of My Childhood« is a story of transformation and healing, my very personal path to the heart and to a lovable and livable existence. This publication is being created in collaboration with designer Clemens Schedler and provides insight into the processing of traumatic experiences of abuse that I have experienced from childhood onwards. Only decades later, through growing signs of depression and isolation, was I able to engage in the painful realization of these events. The book tells of the events through painting, drawings, texts, and photographs, giving the unspeakable a name, a form. The first edition touched the lives of many, providing solace and courage to those who have experienced similar traumas. Now, as we strive to bring this invaluable resource which has been worked on pro bono by everyone involved to a wider audience, we need your help. By contributing to our fundraising campaign, you can play a vital role in covering the printing costs necessary for the book's reissue. Every donation, no matter the size, brings us closer to our goal. Together, let's ensure that "The Memory of My Childhood" finds its way into the hands of those who need it most. Visit our crowdfunding page for more information on how you can make a difference. Thank you for your support. The images in the text are from the newly redesigned English version of the book, generously provided to me by the author. Almost everything is too much. A process of Trauma Transformation Dear Laurent, We have known each other for a good number of years — 15 to be exact. I'm grateful for your continued existence in this world, a reality often not assured. Children who must navigate the sinister realms of pedophile rings cannot emerge unscathed. Some succumb and die, others are institutionalized with dissociative disorders, some seek solace in substances, while others resort to selling their bodies or become perpetrators themselves, trying to gain power in the same circles that abused them. Some wander aimlessly, their lives devoid of meaning, reduced to mere survival in this world. Laurent, when you asked me to speak at the opening of your exhibit, my answer was a resounding "yes." Yet, when sitting at home alone with your book, I found myself asking, what should I say? I've witnessed your journey — the stages of fear, shock, despair, horror, shame, guilt, anger, and grief through which you have passed. I’ve lived through them with you time and time again, but to see them vividly depicted in your book left me breathless. The sheer terror overwhelmed and numbed me. How do we find words for the unspeakable? This is precisely what makes your book and art so extraordinary. It is the endeavor of a remarkable artist to wrestle words from horror, to render it in images, making it tangible. I briefly considered whether I should hide behind an expert lecture, providing definitions of trauma and ritual violence, reciting statistics on sexual abuse, child pornography, and child trafficking. Whether I should explain how the survival mechanisms of dissociation works, which often lead to memories only surfacing into consciousness years later. The question is not, "Do such things really happen?" or "How can people do this to others?" We know such atrocities occur. The ongoing Bergisch-Gladbach trials in Germany provide a glimpse into the emotional, physical and sexual abuse and torture captured on video that are almost impossible to watch causing sickness even for the police officers whose duty it was to review the videos. Books, films, research papers, and news articles attempt to address these issues. Perhaps our minds can begin to comprehend the words we hear and read about the abuse of children, child pornography, and child trafficking. However, only those scarred by violence can truly understand the profound impact of growing up under such conditions. The real question is not "Can this happen?" but "How can a child survive and, beyond survival, embrace life?" How can a person who has never experienced closeness, love, and intimacy, but instead encountered them in the distorted forms of fear, guilt, and shame, build a fulfilling life? Children subjected to brutality instead of love struggle to differentiate between perpetrator and victim. The conclusion they draw is that there is no such thing as safety in this world. Whatever horrors they endure are seen as their own fault because they are not worthy of love. The ensuing shame can lead to the development of coping mechanisms such as the adoption of roles and masks, twisting and contorting themselves to conform with societal expectations while obeying the taboo of silence, to ensure that their true selves remain hidden, even if this means living a life in complete isolation. Laurent, in crafting this book, embodies the utmost courage—the courage to discard masks and to reveal oneself, naked, in moments of fear, guilt, and shame. The greatest gift we human beings can offer each other is to listen without judgment. That's what we're called upon to do today—to be still, quietly attentive, to open our hearts, to engage with Laurent as he unveils his world, inviting us to see, hear, smell, taste, and feel. For that is exactly what his art achieves; it engages all of our senses. If this seems overwhelming, if the words and images are "too much," acknowledge this feeling, connecting with someone who has managed to survive. Let it in, for this is the emotional burden that survivors must carry in this world, without being able to lay it down. In modern life, for trauma survivors almost everything can seem "too much” — the demands that society places on us, at school, at work, and in our interpersonal or other relationships. Other people can be intimidating. They may trigger the instinct to escape, to hide or run away, to diminish ourselves into invisibility. As a result, there is an urgency to do something, anything, quickly before the anxiety returns, bringing with it the sleeplessness, unbearable pain, stress, and tension, and other dreadful emotions so strong that it makes it hard to breathe. Manifesting in panic attacks, feelings of emptiness, futility, depression, and even self-harm, these emotions leave one without a reliable compass to navigate a seemingly alien world. The outside world filled with laughter and joy is only visible through a dim window, offering no hope and no entry point. It is this overwhelming sense of "too much" that can ultimately lead to a complete breakdown, halting life in its tracks with screeching finality. This inner process involves navigating the threshold between life and death. It becomes paramount in one's healing and self-awareness to discern between two distinct states of consciousness… The one being: "I can't stand this pain any longer. It's all too much! I don’t want to be in this world anymore. I want to die." The other asking the question: "Who or what wants to die? Is it me or some facets of me? I want these emotions to go away. I want those aspects and parts of myself that are ensnared in the horror, reliving physical trauma, and drowning in feelings of isolation and futility, to die and find peace in their demise”. Kein Mensch kann sich der Auseinandersetzung mit dem Tod entziehen, und wenn wir uns einlassen wie es Laurent in der Konfrontation und Bezwingung der eigenen Dämonen getan hat, beginnen wir wieder das Leben so intensiv zu spüren, dass es dem Gefühl einer Wiedergeburt gleich kommen kann. Es gibt nichts wovor der Mensch mehr Angst hat als die Angst vor dem Tod, es ist diese Angst, die die meisten von uns unbewusst durchs Leben treibt und unglaubliche Kräfte freisetzt und es ist das Überwinden dieser Angst, welches es erlaubt Verantwortung für das eigene Leben zu übernehmen und nicht angst-getrieben, sondern kreativ-gestaltend durchs Leben zu gehen und vom ständigen getriebenen ‚Tun‘ in ein friedvolles ‚Sein‘ zu kommen. By allowing ourselves to confront and conquer our personal demons, as Laurent has done, we can rediscover life with such intensity that it can resemble a state of rebirth. No one can avoid an eventual confrontation with the inevitability of death. In fact, for human beings, nothing instills more fear than the fear of death. It is this unconscious fear that pursues us through life, unleashing incredible powers. Confronting and surmounting this fear enables us to evolve into lives of self-responsibility and empowerment. The life force, once liberated, can manifest itself not as fear but as a path for creation. The perpetual, forceful "doing" may then yield to a serene state of being. Laurent's paintings and writings make all of this tangible and reveal the incredible beauty of the human soul intertwining the beautiful and the ugly, the good and the bad, the light and the dark. Human capacity lies in embracing this duality, experiencing it as a whole. As Carl Gustav Jung once wrote: "Those who can perceive their shadow and light simultaneously can see themselves from two sides and can thus arrive in their center." Dear Laurent, your book exemplifies this journey. Your will, echoing Viktor Frankl's "yes to life, in spite of everything," allowed you to confront inner demons. You transformed fear into trust, guilt into sensitivity, shame into self-empowerment, and embraced compassion not only for yourself but for all beings, even the perpetrators. It is this love that enables a deeper connection to oneself, others, the greater whole, and the essence of being human and alive. I thank you for this gift, hoping the world will benefit, serving as a testament to your inner triumph and shedding light on the "wonder of life." This miracle we all may experience if we look inside. I invite everyone to use this moment to do exactly that, to lower the barriers and celebrate this wonderful, exuberant, crazy world, with all that it encompasses, its darkness and light.

I am here because of my chronic pain and would like a Bowen session. Looking at your website I was wondering what do Holotropic Breathwork, SoulCollage and guided trance journeys have to do with pain management and health? And how do they relate to the Bowen treatments? It's not the first time I've been asked today's question from a client. And the surprise is often great when I combine the different methods and, for example, do trance work instead of a pure Bowen body treatment, have a SoulCollage card designed or recommend Holotropic Breathwork. Therefore, in this article, I would like to briefly describe how these methods harmonize with each other and why it can make sense to combine them. Process-oriented and multi-modal understanding of health I have a process-oriented understanding of health and a multi-modal view of pain or, as the saying goes, body-mind-soul represent a unit and I can't separate one level from the other when I'm working with pain . Numerous scientific studies have shown that psychological and emotional factors have a direct impact on physical health and often physical discomfort is not solely due to physical injury or dysfunction. Pain can occur as a complex interaction of physical, emotional, and energetic factors. It has also been known for a long time from trauma research that everything we experience, starting with conception and the perinatal and birth experience is stored in our body. Studies from transgenerational trauma research show that this is not only the case for biographical and perinatal experiences, but also for transgenerational trauma, i.e. experiences of our parents and grandparents and probably beyond, which influence our (mental) health, our relationship and our genetics. (Sotero de Menezes et al. 2016). An integrative approach that takes into account both physical and psychosocial aspects is crucial to promote long-term health and well-being. Health is a dynamic and ongoing process based on the realization that health is not just the absence of disease, but a state of balance and harmony on a physical, emotional and spiritual level. Within the framework of a process-oriented understanding of health, the emphasis is placed on promoting self-healing powers and supporting the individual health process. It's about strengthening and activating the body's natural abilities for regeneration and self-regulation. Not only the interactions between body, mind and soul are taken into account, but also the influences of the environment and the social context on health. Finding the cause and promoting holistic well-being are the focus. It is recognized that each person is unique and has different needs, resources and circumstances. Therefore, the treatment and support is individually addressed to the respective process and the goals of the individual. The focus on a process-oriented approach to health enables change and transformation at all levels. My methods: Bowen Therapy, Holotropic Breathwork and SoulCollage Bowen Body Therapy - A gentle approach to pain relief The Bowen Body Therapy is a gentle, fascia-oriented method , which aims to activate the body's own regulatory system and to mobilize the self-healing powers. Scientific research has shown that Bowen therapy has positive effects on pain relief, stress reduction and quality of life improvement in various diseases (Rapidis et al., 2005; Godfrey et al., 2011). Gentle touches and targeted movements release tension and blockages in the body, which leads to an improvement in all of the body's systems (e.g. cardiovascular system, digestive system, endocrine system, lymphatic system) and promotes well-being. At the same time, every Bowen treatment starts with the nervous system and helps self-regulation and relaxation. With the special approach of the Body-Mind Bowen, traumata can also be made conscious here and solved on a physical, emotional and energetic level. Bowen is also helpful with mental tension, stress, burnout, panic attacks and mild depression. Holotropic Breathwork - The Gateway to Consciousness The Holotropic Breathwork is a method from the transpersonal Psychology that allows you to reach an expanded state of consciousness with the help of breathing, music and a safe set & setting. In this state, deep self-knowledge, the dissolution of old patterns and access to unconscious material and traumatic experiences is possible. People can gain new perspectives, let go of obstructive patterns and experience a profound and self-empowering transformation process. Physical or emotional tension and pain are relieved here through a specific form of bodywork (Focused Energy Release), which is determined by the client himself. Studies have shown that Holotropic Breathwork can lead to an increased sense of well-being, improved mental health, and increased life satisfaction (Ravenscroft et al., 2019; Ramaekers et al., 2020). Self-discovery, more authenticity, and a deep connection and trust in life develop as part of the process. For more information see also the Glossary on Holotropic Breathwork (currently only in German). SoulCollage - Creative Self-Reflection for Holistic Health SoulCollage®, developed by Seena Frost, in a wider frame also belongs to Transpersonal Psychology since it is based on the principles of Carl Gustav Jung's analytical psychology and Roberto Assagioli's psychosynthesis. SoulCollage® uses creative forms of expression such as creating personal collage cards and writing for a resource-oriented approach to well-being and one's own existence. It is possible to gain access to inner personality parts and archetypes. This method can be used to support the integration of Holotropic Breathwork experiences, to deal with emotional challenges and conflicts in private and professional contexts and to promote decision-making processes. I t is also possible to get in touch with the body and, for example, symptoms of illness via the collage cards and to gain a deeper understanding of the causes and possible healing paths. Studies show that expressive art therapy such as SoulCollage can have a positive impact on well-being and mental health (Lusebrink, 2012; Reynolds et al., 2019). Through the creative process of design, new connections are made and so-called "freeze states" can be broken. To create your first SoulCollage card, follow this easy 5 step guide. The synergy of methods The combination of Bowen Body Therapy, Holotropic Breathwork and SoulCollage creates a powerful synergy that makes it possible to harmonize body, mind and soul. They go well with with each other because they are based on the same principles and on a process-oriented understanding of health: An inner healing wisdom is accessible to every human being when they embark on the inner journey and the adventure of self-discovery. The answers are already hidden in people, which means that the therapist is not an expert, but in a supporting role, a source of inspiration and a companion. The self-healing powers can be activated on the physical, psychological and energetic level and the individual levels are mutually dependent and correspond to each other. Every person is unique and on a very individual life path which needs to be honored. The therapeutic setting, namely the creation of a safe space inside and outside and a stable, safe therapeutic relationship are crucial in order to be able to embark on the inner path. Working on the body, the felt sense and the nervous system is essential to creating a safe inner space. A group in which one can feel safe offers another space for self-discovery. To experience that suffering can be shared, to be seen in one's own vulnerability and to experience selfless support from others, offers the opportunity to overwrite and change old fears and behavioral patterns on the relationship level as well. Such groups are created in Holotropic Breathwork or SoulCollage®. A sustainable transformation process requires personal responsibility and initiative. References: Godfrey, CM, Morgan, P., & Smith, CM (2011). Bowen technique for fibromyalgia: a systematic review. Complementary Therapies in Clinical Practice, 17(4), 249-253. Lusebrink, V.B. (2012). Art Therapy and the Brain: An Attempt to Understand the Underlying Processes of Art Expression in Therapy. Art Therapy, 29(3), 125-133. Rapidis, A.D., Kokkalis, Z.T., & Antonopoulou, M.D. (2005). A case series on the efficacy of the Bowen technique for frozen shoulder. Journal of Bodywork and Movement Therapies, 9(3), 236-241. Ramaekers, B.L.T., Timmerman, M.E., Weggelaar, L.W., van Asseldonk, E.J., & Hutschemaekers, G.J.M. (2020). Effects of Holotropic Breathwork on Mental Health: A Randomized Controlled Trial. Frontiers in Psychology, 11, 564399. Ravenscroft, N., Barone, M., & Rachman, A. (2019). The impact of Holotropic Breathwork on mental health and everyday functioning. European Journal of Integrative Medicine, 29, 100927. Reynolds, K.C., Haeyen, S., & Lomas, T. (2019). The Effectiveness of Art Therapy for Anxiety in Adults: A Systematic Review of Randomized and Non-Randomized Controlled Trials. PLOS ONE, 14(8), e0220109. Sotero de Menezes, L., Seganfredo, A.C., & Volchan, E. (2016). Intergenerational transmission of trauma and resilience: A literature review. Frontiers in Psychology, 7, 1163.

SoulCollage® is a beautifully simple creative process of self-exploration. Through the design of so-called SoulCollage® cards, a very personal card set is created. I may apply the cards for self exploration, to get in touch with myself and my inner wisdom, to have a creative break, to do deep inner work with light and shadow aspects of myself, to deal with challenging situations, to work with pain on a psychological or physical level, to explore my world by writing, to coach myself or others, to enter deep therapeutic processes, to develop characters for a novel or a play and and and. The uses of SoulCollage® cards are almost unlimited and each one deserves its own article. If you now feel like simply designing a card and getting a taste of the SoulCollage® process, follow this 5 step guide to your first SoulCollage Card and let your soul speak to you. Step 1: The Materials To create a SoulCollage® card, you will need the following materials: Magazines with lots of pictures such as GEO, National Geographic, art or photo magazines, Happienez, Flow etc. make it the easiest for you. But you can work with anything you have at home, be it women's or men's magazines, special interest magazines, illustrated books, advertising brochures, old photos or printed images from the Internet. What is important is a certain selection of images and the willingness to cut them up. Scissors and glue Cards sized A5 or slightly smaller (A6 is the absolute minimum). If you don't have any cards handy, just take an A4 paper and cut it in half. You can then glue it to a cardboard later. Step 2: Select images for your SoulCollage Card Now the creative part begins. Just flip through a magazine and rip out the images that resonate with you. These can be pictures that you particularly like, where your soul jumps for joy. Or images that trigger a strong feeling of any kind, be it longing, anger, sadness or resistance. From these pictures you are now looking for a motif for the background and one for the foreground. It should really just be images with no text. If there is a snippet of text somewhere, you can either cut it out or paste something over it later. You have so many great pictures that you can't decide and you would like to stick 10 different motifs on your card? Don't worry. Over time, you can create SoulCollage® cards from all of these images. However, it is important to select only one background and one foreground per card. Start today with a first card. Step 3: Cut and Adjust This step is about looking at what kind of image might emerge. Which part of the background and which part of the foreground will be glued to the card? Should the card be in portrait or landscape format? Where do I position the foreground? What do I want to cut away? What remains? Take a moment to look and explore. Cut out the foreground as accurately as possible. Step 4: Glue Once you know what your image will look like, stick it on. If you have an A5 plastic bag or envelope, you can put or wrap the card in there for better protection. But at the beginning it is enough to simply have the card. Step 5: Let your soul speak and journal through the SoulCollage card Really give yourself time to delve into your map, look at it, the colors, the people, animals, shapes, nature, spaces, whatever there is to see. If you can, let yourself fall into this space, feel it, smell it, taste it. When you are in contact with the energy of your card, take a piece of paper and a pen and let the energy of the card speak: I am the one who... It is important that the card speaks from within you in its own voice. Sometimes she has a lot to say, sometimes she is taciturn or a bit shy and only opens up with time. If you like, you can add another sentence: My gift to you is... Here again the energy of the card writes. Let yourself be surprised what a gift it contains. And now? Now you may have gotten creative and want to produce and write with more cards. Wonderful! Just do it. Perhaps you would also like to know what other options there are for working with a card or designing cards. Maybe you want to know more about the theoretical background and what the different types of cards like community, committee, council etc. are all about. Perhaps the card has also triggered emotions in you that you wish to be accompanied by. If you want to go deeper here, please contact me or take part in the next SoulCollage® introductory course.

Transpersonal psychology, expanded states of consciousness and body therapy If someone had told me in the past that I would study and become passionate about Transpersonal Psychology, the body-mind-soul connection, altered states of consciousness and Holotropic Breathwork, I would have said: Holo- what, please? I had no clue about all these terms. As a political scientist, I worked for international organizations in conflict countries, later I developed and implemented projects to combat human trafficking, first as an employee and since 2008 as a freelance consultant. A severe personal crisis lead me to discover Holotropic Breathwork®. Suddenly the path was the goal and this path led me into new, unknown worlds. Working with trauma, I have asked myself throughout my life if and how it might be possible to grow into a fulfilled and healthy life. In a life where joy and well-being truly exist despite whatever painful and damaging experiences one might have had and that lead to rather contracted states of consciousness. The sentences that I hear from my clients and that I used to say to myself are: I feel more death than alive. Even if I'm with other people, I'm lonely. I am in a constant struggle for survival and feel utterly exhausted and tired of functioning in this world. Today many different and exciting modalities for self-discovery, personal development and trauma healing exist. For me Holotropic Breathwork® and the therapeutic work in expanded states of consciousness brought the shift and allowed for a comprehensive transformation and integration of trauma. With this inner shift my perspective on and experience of the outside world changed as well. Today I say: Life is colorful and worth living. Even if there are problems, challenges or conflicts, I deal with them differently today. Not because I learned it mentally, but because I am not anymore in flight/fight or freeze mode but see the world from a relaxed inner state. Instead of (unconscious) fear, curiosity and joy are my motivation now. Many people who come to Holotropic Breahtwork and embark onto their inner journey report the same.Not only trauma survivors, but very diverse people. People of different ages from 16 to 80, from different gender from many different countries, with diverse professional and educational backgrounds. Some are simply curious about growth and further development. Some are dealing with relationship issues. Many have health problems or suffer from our culture of 'faster - further - more'. There are many causes for all this. And it is precisely these causes that may enter into consciousness, into our awareness when working in Holotropic states of consciousness. Through active integration work they can then be transformed and everyday life might unfold in new ways. What is the meaning of Holotropic? Holotropic is a word composed of two Greek terms. Holos means whole, holistic, complete. Trop comes from trepein and means move towards something. Holotropic can roughly be translated as Moving towards Wholeness. And that's exactly what this blog is about. What does wholeness mean? What does this has to do with a meaningful and joyful life? And how do I move towards it? What happens during Holotropic Breathwork® and the work in expanded states of consciousness? How are body, mind and soul connected and how can working on one level support and promote the healing of the other levels? Questions? You would like to know more? Please follow your curiosity and leave me a comment or question? If possible, I will discuss them in the upcoming articles.